Golden handcuffs & the void we all feel

I find the "golden handcuffs" phenomenon particularly interesting- people who seemingly have it all, yet have nothing. Strikingly- I find the same underlying issue in people living paycheck to paycheck, in college students, in single adults, and even in engaged and married couples.

The lack is never money.
It's not energy.
It's not even time.

It's an emotional lack.

The void that exists when you wake up and feel soul-less and a slave to your calendar.

The void that makes you feel alone, isolated, the odd-one-out that permeates every girl's night, every date, and every job interview.

The void that steals all your time doom-scrolling through social media, tending to hangovers, and worrying about what other people think about you.

When I see all of this with my clients, it's what I label as "being disconnected from your soul."

So often it's created from beliefs when we were younger telling us we weren't good enough unless we were top of the class, first place in the tournament, or got whatever new shiny title someone created.

It's created from habits where we learned we should give attention, praise, and kindness to others- to be completely selfless- but be critical and judgmental towards ourselves behind closed doors.

It's created from the decades we spent ignoring our hurt feelings, our pain of being unseen, our anguish of molding our loving free spirit into a stifled man in a suit of armor because we were told the world is cruel, cold, and we needed to be tough to survive.

Every, "I'm not good enough."
Every, "I want to, but I shouldn't."
Every, "I can't do it."

Has fed the void that keeps the illusion that we as people are separated from one another, that it's me vs. you, that you need to value money over people, that even when you have everything- you still shouldn't invest in therapy or coaching because that would mean you're admitting you're not smart enough to handle your sh*t on your own. And when you have, what seems like, nothing? Well, you should feel bad, you don't deserve help, because you should figure it out yourself.

The first step towards building freedom in our lives, isn't getting rich, isn't creating an action plan, and isn't networking to find someone who can get us to that next step.

It's being honest with ourselves in seeing who we really are.
(& that's hard for everyone)

If you're ready to see the truth of who you are and start receiving more in your life- love, fulfillment, joy, and peace - it starts with allowing yourself to get into receiving energy and choose support over isolation.

Reach out to me at jen@jencui.com with the subject "Coming home to myself" to start the conversation on working together 1:1, or visit my website www.jencui.com to learn more about coaching and book a consultation.

*Spoiler- you're fully enough, unconditionally lovable, and already successful.