Fiona's Journey to Self-Acceptance and Better Relationships
This is a case study of how one of my life coaching clients, Fiona, transformed her life in 12-weeks. She was able to bring up her quality of life by 9 points (32/50 —> 41/50), increase her body confidence, trust in self, and quality of sleep, as well as lower her symptoms of depression significantly.
What did your point A look like? What state was your mind/ relationships/ health/ career/ life at? What things were you doing to try to solve your problems (if anything?)
At Point A in my coaching [journey], I was at a pretty low point. I’d wake up every day embarrassed of my body and the way I looked. I constantly mirror checked myself and wasn’t treating myself kindly in one bit.
I had also just ended my relationship with my on and off boyfriend of 3 years. That shit was not easy. I felt like I was not good enough for anyone and couldn’t even understand why people would like me in a romantic way.
As for my career and school life, I was very busy attending my Zoom classes, writing papers, taking tests, and continuing on my internship at a hospital system.
I was trying to do better, to be better, but wasn’t sure how. I wasn’t giving my body the exercise it needed to be happy. I wasn’t spending any time alone. When I was alone, I was anxious. It was hard for me to feel like a normal person when I was surrounded by people. I wasn’t journaling, meditating, or expressing gratitude. Honestly I didn’t even know things like that could even help me.
What does your current point B look like? What did you discover was possible for you? What was the impact of this on your mind/ relationships /health / career/ life?
I have truly grown as a person immensely since the beginning of working with Jen. I am still on my personal growth journey, but I have immensely decreased the amount of negative thoughts I have about my own body. I have learned that the way you look is not the most important thing about you and I truly believe that now. I can embody the person I’ve always wanted to be, while realizing that there is always room to grow.
As for relationships, I have spent the past months trying to move on from a constant in my life that was my ex-boyfriend. I still cherish him greatly, but we can live our own separate lives, which we had never ever done since the day that we met. I now hold myself to higher standards: this means creating non-negotiables that I want for my dating life.
What was the thing that helped the most?
Realizing how important and special I am was incredibly helpful. This seems very obvious, but once you hold your expectations for how other people treat you to a higher standard, and don’t let people make you feel less than you really are, your life can change. As an empath, I am heavily affected by other people’s thoughts and feelings. This also means I am heavily sensitive to how other people treat me and what they are saying about me. When I stopped letting people do and say whatever they wanted to about me, my life changed.
What did you learn that was a game-changer for you that created that result?
A game-changer for me was adding more time to spend by myself, whether it is spent journaling, going on a walk, or spending time laying in bed. That is something that Jen taught me - in order to grow in yourself, you have to be by yourself in your own thoughts. You really have to ponder the why’s of your own brain and realize the reason you do things.
What was surprising for you in terms of your own transformation?
Something that is surprising to me was how simple things can completely change your own view of yourself.
How was it like being coached? What surprised you about it? What drew you to it? What was hard about it? What made the greatest difference? Why was it worth it?
I really didn’t know what to expect - I had been to therapy but had never been coached before. I love that you talk through problems, but you focus on how to improve your life and set goals for your life. It is not just about your past, but your future. It sets yourself to a higher expectation and lets you hold yourself accountable, with the help of someone guiding you along the way.
I was drawn to coaching because my best friend recommended Jen to me when I was in a time of need. Now, I couldn’t imagine my life without Jen in it.
It definitely can be hard. This is because it feels hard to grow. It is hard to break down your boundaries and realize what habits you can actually change to make your life better. Once you do this, kick down those walls, that’s what makes the greatest difference.
It is so worth it because it changes your entire mindset. It gives you a new perspective on the important things in life and what you should prioritize. It also makes you realize who in your life is adding and who is taking away because it changes the frame of your mindset.
What powerful thoughts or beliefs did you add to your self-concept to get you where you are now? What are you most proud of overcoming or creating as a result from coaching?
I had to add many powerful thoughts to my self-concept. I added how amazing, powerful, and well-rounded I was. I also added that my body and weight are not defining who I am. I have also realized the power of the law of attraction: what you bring in and tell yourself will come into your life. The vibrations you have will attract other vibrations in the universe.
I am most proud of creating daily habits that really suit my life. I work out, journal, meditate, and spend time alone every day in order to have a happier and healthier state of mind.
Why are you getting coached again? What are you going to create as a result of coaching?
I am getting coached again because I don’t think I have reached my full potential yet. I have made such great strides, but I haven’t fully touched my higher self yet that I know is inside me. I am going to create an even better sense of self, goals, and passions in this round of coaching and I can’t wait to keep moving forward.